Thursday, March 12, 2009

We're all Adults here...right?

I'm sorry that this may seem like a mish-mash post, but this just happened to me and the wounds are still fresh. I was just at my local supermarket, and apparently I was looking extra sketchy, because I got the hairy eyeball from one of the night stockers.

As I shot into the Health and Beauty aisle, he stared at me as I pretended to shop for lotion and other body creams. I say this not to skeeve you out, but because my mind was elsewhere. I was shopping for Condoms.

For some reason, at my local market, and every other place I've worked part time, (CVS [props to Shannon, the Dissaffected Scanner Jockey, see Noteworty Bloggers] and Shoppers Food Warehouse for example); condoms always seem to be front and center at most Groceries and Pharmacies to a point where it feels like your on stage when you go shop for them. For example, at the particular market, they were right next to the Pharmacy window.

What do they think? We're going to ask for directions or opinions? Do they feel that the male bravado is so high that we need to announce to the world that we're "gettin' some?" Call me crazy, but are the overwhelming majority of Pharmacists female? Would the average male feel more comfortable buying Condoms with a cute young pharmacist eyeing their purchase? Why would they deem that necessary? Don't they want our youth to use them?

Maybe you think that I'm taking the purchase of Condoms too seriously, but Newsflash: WE DO! Think about the many different types of Condoms that are out there: Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Latex, Lambskin, Polyuerothene, Polyisoprene, Lubricated, Spermicided, Ribbed, Contoured, Ultra-Thin, Extra Strength, Pleasure Tipped, Studded, Flavored, and a vast sundry of others. This is not a purchase we take lightly, because a crappy Condom is like a bad haircut. It's not cheap and it's an error that you have to live with until you get another one.

I once went as far as 2 counties to purchase Condoms from someone that doesn't personally know my Mother. That's how real it is for me!


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The "Big" red line and the little Blue Light...or that old reliable Ex-Girlfriend

For some reason, during my Groundhog Adventure, I noticed something very strange about my shopping habits. I live in one of the few towns that has both a Wal-Mart and a K-Mart. I do a bulk of my shopping at the Wal-Mart because it is of the "Super" distinction. Getting my groceries among other things is so much cheaper there than anywhere else.

However, when the chips are down, or I'm looking for something a bit more obscure, I end up going to the lonely, run down, dimly lit K-Mart.

I guess part of it is that it reminds me of my childhood. When I was growing up, the closest and largest store in our town was a K-Mart. I know that's not saying much for my town, but it was a very small, and very young town. I guess the other part is that the price point is lower and the items they carry are a bit more obscure. As opposed to name brands, they prefer to carry brands that you slightly recognize. Like Craftsman, or Die Hard.

The only problem with the K-Mart "go-to move" is that they consistenly disappoint me by:
  1. Not carrying the item I was looking for at all.
  2. Carrying the item with very few alternatives
  3. Setting the price point so high, that I'm better off going to Wal-Mart, and kicking myself because that's where I should have gone the first place!
I always keep having the same conversation with myself, asking "Why the hell did I come here?" "What was I thinking that they would carry that?" "Who in their right mind, buys something here that has a higher price point AND lower in quality?"

Maybe I'm too forgiving and fiercly loyal of brands that I grew up with as a child. When I was little K-Mart was the be-all, end-all. If I couldn't find it at K-Mart, then they hadn't invented what I was looking for yet.

But WHY DO I KEEP GOING BACK?!?! Am I that proverbial guy keeps giving that ex-girlfriend chance after chance, and she keeps breaking my heart. Despite the fact that I've moved on, and I have other options that have what I need and treat me better than my ex? Am I that guy?