Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Reunion Plot Thickens...

Why is it anything that you happen to do out of sheer nostalgia, like signing up for while in college, comes back like an errant boomerang?

I receive a random message from that "Someone wants to reconnect with you!" Translation = someone you knew in High School is trying to stalk you in the hopes that their unrequited love for you can be fulfilled.

90 percent of the time, I presume this message to be junk mail, however; in a brief moment of weakness, and considering the person I ran into last week, I bit. It turned out to be a girl that I held a huge torch for and she chooses now to tell me that the feeling was mutual. And given: I'm no Brad Pitt or some big, sexy, chocolate piece of Man Candy, but I don't believe I'm hideous!

Also, considering the love connection could have been interracial (**facetious gasp**), the other question I asked myself before deciding not to pursue her was, "Is she looking to date me, or looking to date a black guy."

Now some may say that dating me is dating a black guy, but that's not what I mean. There are some women that I've met that seemed to be more interested in the whole, "Me and you against my parents and the world" thing as opposed to dating Darian, flaws and all. They seem to be more interested in showing you off to her plain-Jane friends that find you so "deep" and "strong and silent" or showing her father just how big of a rebel she can be, but I digress(as always!).

Another question, what is it with women that prefer to give you one last shot at a love affair? Follow up questions, why do they choose to proposition you in your yearbook? It pissed me off that I've been going to school with these women for a minimum of 4 years, and in some cases, my entire school career! You feel heat, and a connection with this woman, but there are obstacles:

  • They're dating your best friend
  • They're your best friend's little sister
  • Your best friend already dated her, and your risk the ire of your best friend and your inner circle

I've been in all three of these situations, and I've never fully acted on any of them in fear of retribution or that it won't work out.

So in the case of this person trying to reconnect with me, she fulfilled the first bullet point. Upon our first meeting, she was dating my best friend since Elementary school. We flirted, we chatted, and I would protect her in his absence, but there has never even one date between us.

Senior year, she hasn't dated him in 2 years and I still never worked up the nerve to ask her out. She then writes the infamous message in my yearbook about how she's yearned for me for the last 2 years, and to "give her a call."

So I go to the Classmates website and find that she's still single, attractive and is waiting with baited breath to see me at the reunion.

Now part of this is my fault. I was the one who didn't "man-up" and ask her out on a date or something. But to be glib, what is it with you women and timing?


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Everyone has a price...?

Today was quite a curious afternoon. I actually had to only work half of the day today, so I had the opportunity to get a few errands done and managed to get lost on the way to one of them. Anyway, while I was on the other side of town, I went to a small general store owned by one of my clients.

He's a good guy with a wife and child, and in his 40s. I found it curious when he came in with this business idea that he was opening in a neighboring town. His idea was a moderately priced Dollar Store, but instead of importing everything from Asia, he chose to focus on the untapped European exporters. On paper a great idea, but I give him mad props for not being afraid to fail. However, in this economy, Small Businesses, especially Rookie businesses fall victim to the almighty tightening of the purse strings.

So anyway, I always make it a point to visit when I get the chance and do a little shopping at the same time. He welcomed me in as usual but told me he's going to sell the store at the end of the month. Mainly the rent is too high and the income on the store is too low, despite the low overhead.

So while I was checking out, we started talking about fraud and fraudsters in our respective industries. He then brought up a friend and former co-worker of his was caught up in the Tax Fraud Scandal involving the bank manager and the D.C. Tax Office.

"I was just reading about it online, and I just couldn't believe it. She was such a nice person and always treated me great. I guess it goes to show you that everyone has a price," he said.

He continued, "I just hope that bad people never meet my price, because we're all human. If someone asked me to rob a bank for $50,000.00, I would probably call the police and have them reported. If someone asked me to rob a bank for $500,000.00, I would ask 'What bank!?!' "

This made me think, does everyone have a price?

Is the only thing keeping us from a upright citizenship and moral decay a dollar amount? Maybe I'm being a bit to idealistic, but what about the value of one's word? What about doing the right thing consistently? Is it all a matter of waiting for the right ne'erdowell to offer us the right amount of money, and we'll pursue illegality with reckless abandon? Are we all that vapid and morally bankrupt?

I have no idea but it sure is something to think about. Do you have a price or an opinion on this subject? Comment away!


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Class Reunion...

So believe it or not, my 10 year class reunion is coming up, and I'm not quite sure how to take it. On one hand, I'm excited to see how everyone is doing and catch up on old times; a straight-up nostalgia-fest! On the other hand, I'm a bit unnerved at the prospect of having my lovely wife, T, find out about just how big of a NERD her husband WAS in High School.

The topic of this lovely Shindig came up by accident. I was working my second job, when a familiar face came in to make a return. These situations always seem to put me in a pickle because I've taken a staunch stance on crossing paths with associates from High School: If I recognize someone from school and the other person doesn't recognize me, I don't bother telling them who I am. I feel that saying "Hey, remember me from high school?" is just this side of being the "Creepy guy from high school that just never learned to let go of the past."

The problem is I remember this guy when I was IN high school! I'm unafraid to admit that in HS I was a choirboy, literally! There was a high level of seniority in the choir game, but it was always prudent to pass the torch to the next generation during your Senor year, so in a way you're leaving the legacy of greatness to the Juniors. During my first year in choir, there was guy that left for college, but just kept coming back. I easily saw him 3 times a week, which is normal for the newly graduated. Then I saw him the next year. He just couldn't let go. He came to all of the performances, hid in my choir teacher's office, played jokes, sat in on the was quite sad.

So anyway, I saw this girl from school and suddenly she began to get this look in her eyes...and then she said, "Don't I know you from somewhere?" A part of me panicked. Understand that I enjoy my second job, but not enough to be caught by a girl who was pretty popular in HS to catch me at my second job as opposed to my career where I have a desk, an office, a wedding photo, a job title, you know, any semblance of success!?!

I know what your thinking, "Why do you give a flying fig about an 'associate' you had in HS and what she thinks about you?" That's a great question to which I have no answer except to explain the theory of reversion. It's actually quite simple: It's the way your mother treats you whenever she sees you. She treats you like you still live at home even if you have your own wife, home, income and several offspring.

So now this girl from school decides to go in for the kill, "Did I go to High School with you?" I relent, "yes." She responds, "Wow! You look great! Do you know about the reunion?" I answer "No." She then continues to fill me in about the time and date and asks for my email so she can send me the invitation.

After work and getting over the morbid embarrassment, I called my best friend, Lance. Way back in the day, he held a bit of a candle for this girl. "Does she still look great?" I answered, "Yes. Actually I believe she may be a zombie, because she looks the exact same as she did in HS, which is a bit unfair. It's as if she bought a Cryogenic Chamber of Youth." Lance of course was floored, and follows up his awe of her with, "So are we going?"

I then brought up the vow we made to each other about the Reunion. If he goes, then I will go and vice-versa. The other vow was to go without our girlfriends or spouses for 2 reasons:

  1. the flirt factor and Wingman plays that could be made if one or both of us happens to be single
  2. The escape factor in the event that the Reunion is completely wack and warrants a hasty exit

Now the first of these reasons is null and void, due to the fact that we're both happily married in our lives. The second factor however frightens me, and we will both be fighting tooth and nail with our spouses that the reason for going alone isn't for the flirt factor.

Have you ever tried to leave someone at a party or a get-together with a date and you have that heavy talker that just keeps putting the screws to you like a walking Anchor? When you're alone you have the latitude to go the bathroom and make a break for it.

So why do you go to HS Reunions? Is it the Maury reason: "In High School I was wack, but now I've got back?" Is it the Morbid Curiosity that Lance and I shared? Do you agree with our theory about going to the reunion sans spouses because it's easier to leave? Hit me up with some comments, because we're gonna need some advice about this one.


Saturday, May 10, 2008

I'm so sorry for the lack of updates...

Hey people, I'm so sorry that I haven't been to the site in a while. Also, mad props to my girl the Disaffected Scanner Jockey for giving my a big ups on her website. I've been sick as a dog, and I'm just getting back to regular life.

It all started with chills and fever on Sunday and an "upper respiratory infection" knocked me on my ass from Monday through Thursday. I'm back now, and please expect regular updates coming soon. Thank you so much for reading and giving me a chance. Much appreciated and reciprocated!