Sunday, April 6, 2008

Darian's Food Theory

Hello once again. So I was talking to some friends at my other job, and I starting thinking about my food theory again. I know that it's incredibly left-brained of me(i used to separate my succotash and color-coordinate my skittles), but I separate foods into two distinct groups: Commitment Foods, and Non-Commitment Foods.

Commitment Foods are the foods for which I have developed a certain process, and I will completely avoid or save until later to fully enjoy my process, or too complicate to fully enjoy. The following are examples of commitment foods and the process necessary:

  • Skittles - Need to be organized according to the color wheel (ROYGBIV) and the same goes for M&Ms
  • Oreos - Needs a glass or bowl of milk, completely separated into a wad of creme filling and a stack of cookies to be enjoyed separately, cookies first.
  • Butterfinger - needs to be eaten at home or among friends due to the Butterfinger filling getting stuck in your teeth
  • Submarine Sandwich - Needs to be plated
  • Succotash - Needs to be split into Lima Beans and Corn and enjoyed separately, Beans first
  • 3 Musketeers Candy Bar - Chocolaty shell is eaten first leaving the chocolate nougat to enjoy separately
  • Peanut Butter Trix - Peanut Butter scrapped off of the bar and then the cookie enjoyed
  • Utz Ripple Cut Sour Cream & Onion Potato Chips - (or any chips for that matter) The most heavily flavored chips are saved for last
  • Tuna/Chicken Salad - Referencing the "best chips" highlighted above, are to be placed inside the sandwich and enjoyed mixed together.
  • And the most difficult of all commitment foods: Combos. They're miniature pretzel or cracker snacks in tiny short rolls with a cheesy or tangy center. My complicated process with these is to crack the Combo, like an acorn, remove the flavor filling and eat the shells, THEN eat all the filling at once similar to the Oreo process.
WOW! I'm a psychopath.

L8er.

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